I received an offer the other day. So ends four months of job hunting. It’s a little surreal, to be sure. I’d become accustomed to a certain routine, and the state of mind attached to it.
There was never any illusion that finding work would be easy. I was essentially restarting my career, and there was a lot working against me. Nearly two years since my last job. A resume with standardized skills and summarized experiences. An unwillingness to return to the same industry I left. Two months into the job search, I came to the terrible realization that many of the skills I had weren’t transferable.
What I didn’t expect to cause so much pain was time itself. There were warnings. It took my sister several months to find a job after time abroad. It took a friend of mine more than a year to land a role at a local business. There were enough projects I wanted to get through to keep me occupied. But time wears on you.
What am I doing this for? I asked myself after relaunching my website. Is this going to do anything? I wondered after I put together an interactive story engine. There was an air of futility to it all. I lacked momentum.
It’s difficult to find momentum after being rejected from jobs. Dozens of interviews, and even more applications, and nary a word. When there are other things in life to fill in the nooks and crannies of the day, it’s easier to absorb the harshness of these things. But when there are no other things happening…
The problem with having a lot of time is the need to fill it. The problem with spending so much time looking for a job is that most of that time is filled with rejection, and everything else that comes with that. Measure that time in months instead of days or weeks, and it becomes very difficult to deal with.
When I was traveling, I learned fairly early on that I was extremely blessed to have the support network I have. I have the luxury of being able to go home, for one. I have friends I regularly kept in contact with while I was far, far away. They kept me grounded while I was in some very strange and even more foreign places.
When I returned, I made the assumption that it would be easy to get back into things. I’d spend a few weeks decompressing, and then I’d be back at some sort of job, as if nothing ever happened.
As the days and weeks and months passed by, again it was my friends who kept me grounded. Who listened to my rants and ramblings. Who were there for me to talk to. Who were there for me so that I could fill my days with something meaningful, beyond looking for work, and beyond the side-projects that the job hunt had seemingly poisoned with futility.
For anyone returning from any length of time away from home, who is hoping to find work, or who needs to find work, don’t do what I did. Don’t spend every other waking hour thinking about finding a job. Don’t plan your days so that everything revolves around looking for work. Some of us have the luxury of time. But refreshing Craigslist postings every hour in the hope of finding something new is insanity.
Opportunities come and go. But when they come and when they go is out of your control. Nothing you can do will change this.
There is a healthy way to go about looking for a job. That doesn’t include obsession. That doesn’t invite crippling self-doubt. Pace yourself, and let time work in your favor. Do not turn it into a self-engineered threat looming over your head.
I suggest spending that time reaching out. There are people I haven’t reconnected with, and I do feel guilty about it. I have, or rather, had all this time. But the people I reached out to again, who I hadn’t talked to in years, I’m glad to have met again.
I have a lot of people to thank. Over the last several months, I’ve come to realize that this is the true measure of fortune.
So, thank you.